Welcoming change with a smile

I used to be an introvert from childhood to my early adult years, to the extent that many people interpreted it as arrogance. Yet someone who hasn't known me in my early years would never believe that about me. My friends joke that I am a 'social butterfly'; they find it tough to believe that I could ever have been inhibited or hesitant about anything. 

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Yet at a certain stage of my life it became a practical difficulty and I knew that if I had to get what I wanted in life, I will have to work upon that aspect of my personality. This happened when I got to college. In my school, the options for extra-curricular activities were limited to debates or quizzes. Since we had an enthusiastic English teacher, she encouraged us to enact some of the plays from our textbook. When I got into directing and acting, I realised how much I enjoyed it. But because there were no inter-school drama competitions, this activity was limited to my school and that too once in a  blue moon. When I got to college, I was overjoyed to find that they had an entire society devoted to dramatics. I resolved to join it.

I saw a call for audition on the notice board. This wasn't school where the teachers already knew and appreciated my theatrical skills. To gain entry into the dramatic society I had to prove myself anew. I was nervous because I had never gone for an audition. Yet I pulled up my socks and registered. When my turn came, my senior asked me to laugh as hard as I could. Delivering a dialogue would have been easier; even crying would have been simpler. But this was something I didn't do properly even in real life. I used to be very conscious of my crooked teeth in school. In photographs I could hardly be caught smiling, let alone laughing. And here I was being asked to laugh on stage. Even though the auditorium with a capacity of 550 was mostly empty save for few of my seniors, the prospect seemed grim to me. But I did not want to give excuses. So I got up there and laughed as hard as I could, harder and longer than I had ever laughed, till my seniors said I could come down.

In that moment it felt like I had crossed a bridge that I had always been viewing from a distance. Something had changed in me, for the better. But I couldn't allow myself to become happy yet. The results would take some more time. 

The day the audition results were to be out, I rushed to the notice board. My name was there but under 'backstage'. I was crestfallen. I thought maybe this really wasn't my forte. But I had the intent to learn and better myself so I still went for the meeting. There I was pleasantly surprised to know that the onstage-backstage distinction was there to see if the 'backstage' people would turn up, to see if they were interested to share all the responsibilities of the society or only in the glamour of acting. That day onwards it was a fun-filled ride where I got to learn a lot and most importantly, learnt to have confidence in myself and accept myself the way I am. If I ever forgot, my senior would remind me by saying, 'Why so serious when you have such a beautiful smile?' And my face would break out in a toothy grin.

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The night the rain came in

Recently I and family had got caught in the Kashmir floods (2014) with a large group of friends / colleagues. We were tourists and though we too had been waiting for rescue for two days, we felt that sooner or later we may reach home. What was more heart-wrenching was to see the destruction around, to think that even if people survived they would have to live to see the destruction of their houses, their shops, their city. . . a life built painstakingly over many years. When we realised that we too had no way of going home clearly laid out in front of us and after we had been waiting in the hotel room for over a day for the roads and rains to clear up, some people in our group started panicking. 



Since there was no power and connectivity, we were being frugal with the resources at our disposal: food, water and half a candle that was given to each room. But in terms of physical circumstances, we were quite comfortable in the hotel, especially compared to the situation of the locals. We could see that even the second and third floor of the houses around were getting submerged. A local good Samaritan with a basic boat was getting people out, two at a time, of these places while they were still visible.



Water had entered the ground floor and the hotel 'office' and kitchen were shifted upstairs. The hotel staff's behaviour was exemplary, always putting the guests first and trying their best to keep things as normal as possible. The next day after breakfast we suddenly got news of a chopper hovering about and all were asked to rush to the roof. We were airlifted one by one in lots. Naturally we left our luggage behind in the hotel. After landing, we were taken to an army base camp where they were distributing tea, biscuits, water and medicines. A bus then took us to another air strip where an Air Force craft had been waiting. Many other people including a large group of labourers who had been rescued were also waiting there. We were told that the plane would take us to Delhi. Then they got orders saying that the plane could take people only till Jammu, from where they were on their own. People in our team requested that they be dropped to the civil airport, from where they could go to Delhi directly.



My sister had sent me and my grandparents first with our I-cards, and tickets and boarding passes which had been rescheduled over the phone but we had nothing to show for it, all communication being down. The others did not even have this. So army personnel talked to the airlines staff to let us in. We asked the staff to check our names in their records but their computers were shut down. So they just took down our names and gave us boarding passes for the first outgoing flight to Delhi. They said even they want to get as many people out as possible. By the time we were ready to board my sister came too and upon request she was hurriedly given a pass for the same flight, though as we found out later most of the seats still went vacant. The group that had come after us with my sister boarded another flight. Around 10 of our group members, who were facilitating others' leaving, were probably still in the hotel at that time. We were not sure if they would be able to leave the same day as the helicopters were supposed to be on the rounds only till 6 pm. I got to know later that they came to Delhi that night at 2 am in the Air Force plane.



After boarding, we learnt that five planes, including ours, had been waiting for clearance from the Delhi airport, which had been tough to come by because of no connectivity. So the craft that was supposed to leave at 3 pm left at 6 pm but they got us to Delhi in about an hour. 



Of course in between all this was the guilt and discomfort of being tourists. Some locals had come to the hotel for refuge and while everyone was extending their solidarity, in terms of actual help one was floundering. Finally we were just glad that we will not be burdening the hotel and the state any longer by using any more of their resources. The hotel's store houses situated outside had drowned and they had another 3-4 days of ration left. We were relieved that after we left there would be fewer people to feed.  



It was a difficult time for everyone and I hope that the badly affected lives of people in Kashmir recover as soon as possible; I do not even know if a complete recovery would be possible. But even in that tough a time I could not help salute the lone boatman who was rescuing people on his small boat; the hotel staff who were generous and calm both towards their guests and the local residents who needed help; the airline staff who did their best to get people out without harassing them for all the required papers; the senior group members who sent all of us out first and who were noble enough to get out at the very end; the rescuers who airlifted us to safety. It was a life-and-death situation where one wrong step could have landed us into a perilous state. But at every step we were rewarded with the help of kind, generous, courageous people who put others first. The incident is one of the biggest examples of why we have cause for optimism, how despite all the trials and tribulations of the modern day world humanity survives. I hope I am able to pay forward in this life all that I received from these giving people.



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